Fifty Years and Counting
If you could see where He brought me from to where I am today
Then you would know the reason why I love Him so
I turned 50 last week. It feels surreal. How could I have lived half a century? I know those older than me are thinking, That’s so young! But, to me, it’s a significant milestone.
As I think back over the years, I feel like I have lived quite a few lives.
I have intermittent memories of my childhood, but I remember being happy. I had my parents and my brother. Mom taught me how to read and bake. My brother and I played outside frequently, often with neighbor boys. Although we’ve had our disagreements through the years, we never fought a lot. A friend’s mom called me Sunshine, because she said my smile lit up the room. I think I smiled all the time back then.
When I was 8, my life fell apart as my parents divorced, and my mom married a man who was abusive. They were married for about nine years, during which time I no longer smiled much. I went through a long season of wondering if anyone could really love me. I eventually found peace in knowing that God loved me, but people? That was another story. Those who stuck with me deserve a medal as I was self-focused and not easy to love back then.
We moved away from everything I’d ever known when I was 17, and I began to draw closer to God than ever before. I still dealt with a lot of insecurities, but as time went on, I realized that if I wanted friends, I had to show myself friendly. I also had to start thinking of others instead of being so focused on myself and everything bad that had happened to me.
As I look at my life today, I see a totally different person than the scared, shy, unhappy teenager of yesteryear. I don’t know when the change occurred, but I know that God used each joy and each trial to mold me into the person He created me to be. He has brought so many people into my life that I believe love me. I still wonder why anyone would care, but I am thankful they do.
A number of years ago, I decided that I didn’t want to spend my life in the background, but I wanted to personally be used by God in some way. That continues to be my prayer as I realize that I most likely have more days behind me than I do ahead of me. I pray that I will be faithful in whatever God has for me to do so that I will finish well.
This also seems like a fitting time to thank you again for reading my blog. Although I don’t post as frequently as I’d like to, I trust that you will be encouraged or challenged by what I write. Most importantly, may you draw ever nearer to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Hi Elise, I don’t comment often on your site, but your words and the way you express them are very encouraging and helps me refocus on what matters and that is loving and serving our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Happy Birthday! Chet
Thank you, Chet. That is my goal: to draw people ever close to our Lord and Savior. It’s great to hear from you.