Guest Post: Is it Time to Forgive? by Tricia Goyer
Sony’s Comments: I feel like I have done my share of forgiving in my 48+ years of life and, honestly, I’d like to not have to keep doing so. In the past couple months, I have been once again given the opportunity to forgive someone. It is not easy, and I’m still working through it, but with God’s help, I trust that I will. I think I have only shared one or two guest posts in the history of my blog, but when I saw the title of Tricia Goyer’s recent email, I knew I needed to read it. If you have lived for any length of time, you have most likely been hurt by someone. Probably by someone close to you. I hope you were able to forgive that person, squelching the root of bitterness that wanted to take hold. With Tricia’s permission, I am sharing her thoughts from her recent email. I pray you will take them to heart.
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I’ve never watched a hockey game, but recently a friend explained the penalty box to me. He explained that if a player commits a personal foul in ice hockey, he is sent to the penalty box. Having a player in the penalty box hurts the whole team. They are short-handed and miss out on the player’s skills.
Like in hockey, sometimes we send people who hurt us to the penalty box. We want them to “pay” for what they’ve done, yet we forget that we’re also hurting ourselves. Instead of confronting the other person and seeking to work together to make things right, we will often push the other person away or pull away ourselves. And unlike hockey, there is no set time limit to when people can get out of the penalty box. I’ve heard stories of family members or friends missing out on years of each other’s lives over minimal offenses. Instead, it’s much better to forgive.
Many of us don’t understand forgiveness. It does not mean forgetting that something wrong was done. It’s not saying that the other person’s action didn’t matter. Instead, forgiveness is “giving” the other person’s wrong action to God and letting Him deal with it. It’s handing it over and saying, “This was wrong, and it hurt, but I’m giving it to you now to handle.” It’s not easy to forgive, yet it’s often even more challenging to keep someone in the penalty box and miss out on the relationship. More than that, learning to forgive well now will help us in every relationship, including marriage. Especially marriage. Learning to forgive and seek forgiveness gives us a tender heart instead of one surrounded by high walls.
Forgiveness isn’t just something good to do. It’s something that will transform our hearts more and more every time we give others over to God for him to handle. It’s allowing God to turn hurt into healing in our relationships.
Who do you need to forgive by turning their offense over to God to handle? Then, what can God do in and through you once you are free?
Prayer:
Father God, I understand forgiveness, but I admit that I often want to fight it. I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I can’t do it alone. God, can You help me forgive now so that my heart will be tender in every relationship? I trust that when I hand things over to You, You will deal with them according to Your wisdom. Thank You for handling the things that hurt me. I pray You will give me a tender heart. I ask this in the name of Your son, Jesus. Amen.
Tricia Goyer is a wife, homeschooling mom of 10, and author of over 80 books. You can connect with Tricia at www.TriciaGoyer.com.
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