The Golden Rule
It saddens me when people do things out of spite, selfishness, or just to be mean. Many quarrels could be ended with one act of kindness but too often, people are focused on their own hurts and feelings that they don’t even try to put themselves in another’s shoes.
We live in a society where the emphasis is on not being walked over, pushed around, etc. Yet Christ taught us to turn the other cheek, to pray for those who persecute us. I don’t believe that this requires anyone to remain in an obvious abusive situation, but I will say that people get offended way too easily and, often, that offense leads to actions that do not honor God.
A number of years ago, I began to question certain things in order to discern right from wrong. I decided that, if the response to a situation was not clearly outlined in Scripture, a good rule of thumb is to follow Matthew 7:12:
Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
I realize that this does not always work. For myself, a latte and a hug from a friend does wonders to cheer me up while others detest coffee and really are not that huggy so these things would not bring comfort to them at all. Some people want to be left alone when they are in a valley while others wish they had someone to talk to. In these cases, a key is knowing a person well enough to minister to them in a way that will cause them to feel love. That said, you cannot often go wrong with basic courtesy.
I knew someone who would attend a church for a while and then become upset with the church and leave. When she left, she disliked everyone who still attended said church. This resulted in her going out of her way to avoid them whenever she could. Every once in a while, someone would see her and go to give her a hug, but she would intentionally keep her arms down to make it known that she was not reciprocating any warm feelings for this person. When asked about this later, she replied that she didn’t want to be a hypocrite, but the saddest part was that many of these people did not do anything to her. She just held them guilty by association.
I don’t believe that it is ever wrong to show love to someone no matter how much they have hurt you. If the offense was serious, you don’t need to be friends with the person, but it should be a rare occasion that you would be rude. Don’t lie to a person and say “Good to see you” if you’re not happy to see them, but it’s not wrong to nod an acknowledgement in passing or at least smile as you walk by.
When you feel your anger start to get the better of you and you want to punish someone for how they have “hurt” you, ask yourself how you would want them to respond to you. For myself, I want to receive forgiveness and mercy when I do things that annoy others. I want people to bear with me when I drop the ball. Therefore, I want to show these traits to others. Jesus said:
For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ~Matthew 7:2
This isn’t talking about righteous judgment, but rather harsh judgment and retaliation. We are to shine God’s light here on earth, and we can’t do that if we are busy focusing on ourselves and our “rights.” The world does a good enough job at this, but it does not befit a Christian.
Well said.