Your Choices Matter
I don’t remember if I wrote on this topic recently or if I just thought about it, but it bears repeating. Your choices do not just affect you. They affect those close to you as well. I do not have tolerance for people who blame their actions on others, but I have also begun to understand how others’ actions do affect those around them.
For example, if you abuse your child, it would be wrong for your child to abuse his child even though his reaction is most likely due to built-up anger accumulated from his childhood. However, if you were to get control of your anger and stop abusing your child, she would most likely parent differently when her time came. I’ve heard parents make the statement, “They didn’t learn that from me,” but whether they learned their exact behavior from you or are acting out for another reason, it’s possible that something from their childhood has contributed to the decisions they are making today.
I see this especially in divorce cases. Moms and dads are so focused on their own hurts and their anger towards each other that they don’t realize how it is affecting the children until the children begin to act out, and they can’t figure out why. So they blame each other which only makes things worse. Putting others’ needs before our own isn’t easy, but it is the way of Christ.
Just like I would still tell young people that they cannot blame others for their actions, I would tell adults to weigh the things you say and do. Others are watching and, whether you like it or not, they may follow in your footsteps.
I hate that everything needs disclaimers these days, but I expect this post does. I know parents who did the best they could to love each other and their children, and they still suffered heartache. I am in no way blaming you for every decision your child makes. But I do think that it’s important to humble yourself before the Lord and ask Him to show you if you have contributed in some way to your child’s view of God or of you. If you have, then don’t hesitate to acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness. If you still feel like you did the best you could to honor God in your marriage and parenting, then rest in that and continue to show God’s love to your wayward child. Above all, don’t stop interceding. God is the only One who is able to change the hardest of hearts.
Sony:
This is one of the better articles that you have written.
You focused on the family life mostly in the article and that was fine, but our actions concerning sinning and serving Jesus Christ as our Savior effects many besides the family unit. Our congregations and assemblies where we attend, we have an effect on them if we live a compromising lifestyle.
We as Christians should live a holy lifestyle as Jesus Christ commanded us to do. We should try to live without sinning as commanded in the scriptures. If we fail Jesus will forgive us, but we should overcome sin.
God bless you.