Learning to Rest in the Valley
It’s been 8 weeks since I’ve written a blog post, except for a couple small ones recently. I don’t think I’ve ever gone that long without writing since I started this blog. To everything there is a season. As a writer, my brain is always working. Whether it’s a conversation, something I’ve read, or something God is teaching me, it seems like I should never run out of things to say. In some ways I don’t, but there are seasons where it takes a while to really hear what God is speaking and to find the time to get it down.
Since I’ve last written, life has been a myriad of ups and downs. I had a period of time where I struggled to find faith in the midst of trials, which was really my way of not accepting the lot that God has seen fit to give me right now. I hate growing pains and yet I know they are necessary to make me the person God truly wants me to be.
Lately, although I am still going through some trials, He is helping me to trust Him. I don’t understand everything and I know I will still have rough days but I pray to get God’s mind, to know what He desires of me, and to come through this full of faith and victory. I believe He will answer that prayer.
If you are going through a trial, don’t despair. God’s plans for you are good and not evil. He desires to make you more like Him, and sometimes it is the dark tunnels that cause us to turn to Him and realize how much we need Him to get us through each day. The bottom line is that: “If it takes a valley to really know Your grace and if it’s in the desert where I meet You face to face, then turn this path I’m traveling to some dark and lonely place ’cause if it takes a valley, then a valley’s what I’ll take.”
So how long should I trial last? I’m passing 40 years of pain and not an end in sight. In fact, it seems to be worsening AGAIN. Makes it hard to see how God really “loves” me. Except for a few years in my youth, I’ve known NOTHING but pain. Evidently, I’m not going to learn what He wants me to, so maybe He could move on. A “test” doesn’t always work, especially if you don’t know what material you’re being tested on.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Sony, these verses have really helped me a great deal this year. They seem to pop up quite often for me when I am not sure what I should do, regardless of the circumstances. They are a comfort and guide for me in many different situations and I praise God for them!
Yeah, I’ve heard those for decades, but it doesn’t help. At some point you have a legitimate right to wonder if He is ever going to deliver or just make (unfulfilled) promises. Eventually words are cheap and actions are what matters. I don’t believe what He says, I believe what He does. And that hasn’t worked in His favor in my life since He hasn’t acted FOR me in more years than I can remember.